Still finding myself haunted by memories of him. My heart still jumps at the mention of his name and sinks every time it's reminded of where we are now. If I stay here, and I don't plan on moving, I'm either going to have to move on or learn to perfect my best poker face and settle for being his friend. Even after the pain, my heart still wants what it wants and no one else compares. I try and push the thoughts of hope out of my mind because one day we will get past the pain and I don't want to set my heart up for a round trip.
This whole waking up at 2am to the sinking heart feeling is not going to go over so well once classes start back up. Don't know what it is that makes my dreams focus on him pretty much every night at that time, but it's a physical sinking feeling that pulls me out of a deep sleep and keeps me up for hours.
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