Friday was the day I had to break the news to Georgia that there was just no connection and I didn't want to lead him on... Well, he took it a little better than I thought, although I'm sure it was a front because the last thing he said to me was, "I'll text you in a few minutes" and I have yet to hear from him. He flies back to Georgia today.
This whole thing makes me wonder how many times I, like him, see a relationship through rose colored glasses and somehow miss the fact that the other person is really not feeling any chemistry? Even in hind sight, I am having a hard time seeing it. In any case, as much as I feel like the biggest jerk, I know that I did the right thing. I couldn't stand to lead him on or let him spoil me any more in hopes of a relationship growing, when I had already given up and checked out. The hard thing now is this small town. I know he is going back to Georgia, but his family lives here and we share friends that were really hoping things would work out because he really is a great guy and I know he deserves a great woman, I am just not the woman for him.
I am also left wondering if I really do know what I am looking for overall because I was pretty shocked myself that this whole thing didn't quite work out or really that it ended so matter of factly. Part of me thinks that maybe, just maybe, I should've tried a little harder to make it work... but a stronger part of me knows that we'd both just end up settling and being unhappy in the end. I don't know if he realized it and just ignored it, but it was quite obvious to me that I am not the woman he wants to be with. I think he just wanted it to work so badly that he wasn't willing to see it. It was like the opposite of love at first sight... Instead of getting that feeling of knowing we weren't meant to be together, I got the feeling that we were not meant to be at all; that the course of our being in each other's lives had served it's course.
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