Love is a funny thing. It can give you strength in the tough times and it can wake you in the dead of night, heart pounding with a sinking vulnerability you can't shake. Science says that love is no more than a chemical reaction within our bodies. I have no doubt this is true, but those chemical reactions only last a short time. The chemicals may mimic or even accelerate the feeling, but there is no denying the emotions that remain long after the chemicals fade. I believe this with all my heart and yet I find myself surprised to be feeling the way I am feeling after the one in my heart has made it clear he doesn't want to be friends.
I've worked hard to catch my heart up to speed with my brain. I've forced myself to see him moving on and to try and move on myself. I've practiced tough love with myself, even put myself in situations causing my heart to feel the pain rather than avoiding them. And yet here I am realizing that I am still completely in love with him. I cannot help the sadness I feel when I hear about how much he is going through right now... so much more than I even realized.
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